aaaaahaha

frickitdog:

what the fuck

lame-fallen-angel:

sAY NO MORE
my mom: are you sure you want the 20 piece mcnugget isn't an eight piece enough
me: ...
my mom: didn't you just eat a fish sandwich
me: ...
my mom: ...
me: *takes deep breath* we teach girls to shrink themselves-- to make themselves smaller

wanksclub:

me as hell

tyrionlannistor:

sext: i fucking hate the big bang theory

hotelvalentine:

When you call your personal shellfish salesman and order atlantic lobster caught fresh straight from nova scotia for your homemade lobster bisque

image

hauntedclitoris:

summer reading

hauntedclitoris:

summer reading