what the fuck
my mom: are you sure you want the 20 piece mcnugget isn't an eight piece enough
my mom: didn't you just eat a fish sandwich
my mom: ...
me: *takes deep breath* we teach girls to shrink themselves-- to make themselves smaller
me as hell
sext: i fucking hate the big bang theory
When you call your personal shellfish salesman and order atlantic lobster caught fresh straight from nova scotia for your homemade lobster bisque